Hello, and welcome!
to my magnum opus! I was commissioned from god to bring you all this masterpiece of art. I sincerely hope you treat it with the reverence and respect such an important piece of media deserves

you have been tasked with infiltrating illuminati head
quarters, and messing them up big time!

as you could probably guess from the title, this is a
remastered version of my first ever interactive software
project! but y'know, hopefully much better.


What is illumi-naughty?
Using a revolutionary new science technique, scientists can extract the raw extract from memes and meme related sub cultures. Then, our very talented engineers can take it and imbue it into entertainment interactive software based products! this is our first real test, any and all feedback to our research staff is appreciated!

ok, what does this mean for me?
Glad you asked! all this will manifest to your senses like a pixelart top-down shooter game. You will kill a wide variety of enemies, and collect a large assortment of firearms. You'll be tasked with exploring the massive illuminati headquarters and taking out their line of command, and saving the world.png

All this will have a skin on top that might look to you like meme culture from around 2015 or so, we had to use older memes for our experiments as they were more stable than newer ones, but still had the energy needed for this project that even older memes would have lacked

Gameplay
Click the left mouse button to shoot a bullet(x1) this newly formed bullet will travel away from you toward the ms paint made crosshair on your screen, which coincidentally is also controlled by moving your mouse around (i know this is complicated, so bare with me)

You can ALSO use the w, a, s and d keys on your keyboard to move around! this was originally a $50 add on for the game, but I was feeling especially generous and decided to package it into the main game for free, I hope you enjoy! (but don't get used to getting freebies in the future)

Over the course of your adventure, you will pickup different weapon types! you can use the 'tab' key or the scroll wheel on your mouse to switch out what weapon you are using to murderize with

The 'escape' key pauses the game. I don't know why it does this, I've tried all I could to remove it but every time the game is built, it re-introduces itself. Just letting you know to ignore it completely and the intended experience for this game means no pausing - ever - for any reason.

By now, that bullet you fired in the first part of this section should be making contact with an enemy, if you're good (how exciting!) or a wall if you're not (not so exciting) when this bullet thing interacts with an enemy, some of the health, well being, hopes and dreams, etc of the enemy will be depleted, shoot them with enough of those bullet things to make the idea of living unbearable for them, to the point where they decide to spontaneously combust where they stand. Congrats! all your hard work is beginning to pay off, right before your eyes!

Now, some of these enemies are tougher than others, and you might not remember what every gun does, but not to worry! I have implemented an 'About' screen, where you can keep track of every badguy you shoot, every gun you hoard and even what Achievements you've unlocked (insert ooo and ahhh sfx here) so if you ever forget somehow, take a gander over there to read and study :)

Okay so, to progress in the game you simply have to move forward, hurray! At the end of each chapter is a boss fight - whoever was in charge of that section of the Denver airport will notice your presence and try to stop you, so you'll have to use logic and facts to beat them in a 1 v 1 argument. Or you can shoot them, whichever you find easier. Killing them unlocks the next part and creates a checkpoint so you don't lose any progress.

When the game ends and your life has been enriched due to this experience, I hope you will consider forcing all your friends and family to also play :D
if you liked it, than I applaud your excellent taste! if you didn't, well that's ok, were all wrong sometimes.

If you still don't know what this game is, or what it's about, then I suggest repeating grades 1-5 and trying again, I'll still be here when you return, so don't worry :)

you can call me punk, and I hope you enjoy your stay here


tl;dr
1.shoot badguys
2.explore area
3.profit