Have you ever been swindled? Like really swindled? Because this game is the swindle to end all swindles. This game costs 200 United States dollars, or whatever that is in your currency. That is a lot for a video game. And yet I know some people will buy this game out of sheer curiosity and I highly recommend you do too. You see, while most others would simply put together a few reused models, I made a full game for you to play. With features, multiple features. Impressive, I know. This game is also a psychological experience, where I try to convince you that this game truly does cost 200 dollars. 

BEER AND CIGARETTES 

This game has many cases of beer and packs of cigarettes all around the map. They don't do anything, nor are they very important. But they add a vibe to this game that is missing from most. You see, most of my time is spent either drinking, smoking, or sharpening knives and games often don't feature those first two. Sure, your character never engages in those activities directly but you could imagine them and after all imagination is what makes us human. Beer and cigarettes are essential to the human experience and are in this game for that very reason. 

SCHIZOPIA 

Much of this game takes place within a city known as Schizopia. I made this city in order to keep you entertained for long enough to make your game feel real. You see, so many people think this game isn't a true gaming experience and I have to prove that it is indeed just that. So this city is my way of proving myself as a world crafter and a god of some sorts. 

CHARACTERS 

This game includes many very sane and normal people who wander the streets and are very nice to talk to. They all have very casual and very scientific things to say. For instance, they might point the fact your character is blue, because I decided that looked funny in the character maker. Or they might state a random very obvious fact and only that fact such as that cheese is made up of atoms. No character actually says that but I could imagine them doing so. 

PSYCHOLOGIC EXPERIENCE

This game follows you interacting with me, who acts as your narrator, who creates the game as you play. You see, I need your 200 dollars and I will mess with your head in any way possible. This game has strange and odd people, I mean normal people and things that should definitely happen, always. For sure. This game is a real mind bending experience unlike anything that has ever been done before, yes I know it's insane. Just like my cousin Bill, who is in Schizopia's Museum of Boring People, what that exactly is I'll let you find out. 

COMEDY 

Many people describe my games as "comedic" and "funny". I can assure you that this is the wrong assumption is make. My games are serious works of passion and blood that should not be taken as comedic. This game has many strong messages and things to learn about. This game is not meant to make you laugh. It's made to make you cry. Trust me, when you learn about Schmeebleberries, you will be crying like it's a puppy funeral. Yeah, that bad. I know, I know. But trust me, it'll all be worth it in the end. 

ENDINGS 

Stories can end in so many exciting and emotional ways but this game has 10 endings, all of which are deep and fulfilling to the story. Any of them could be canon, which one is is up to you, my friend. Some of these endings may be harder to get that others but in the end, that's what makes this game worth 200 dollars. The experience of finding new things and living your best rich life with all your rich and sweaty friends. That is what makes life worth 200 dollars.