Welcome to Night Factory Novelty Distribution.

Congratulations on your new position. This is a normal job. You will work nights, you will fill orders, and your workplace is completely safe. Please read the following before your first shift.

Section 1 — Stock intake

Stock is delivered through the ceiling. Open the valve and thousands of products arrive on the floor, every one of them physically simulated. They form a pile, and the pile behaves like sand: it slopes, it slides, and pulling a unit from the bottom has consequences for the units above it. If the floor fills, the pipe will clog. This is not a malfunction. Clear the floor.

Section 2 — Orders and measurement

The machine prints a slip; you hang it on the board. Each customer specifies a length, a silhouette and a colour, and each customer is important to us. Locate the matching unit in the pile. Do not guess. Size matters: lay the unit in the bench, pull the tape, read the number. Measure every unit before it is packed.

Section 3 — Packing and dispatch

Select a carton. Add padding. Close the lid. Tape it. Attach the slip. Every order ships in discreet packaging. Always. Then feed the carton to the scanner: green means paid, yellow means paid less, red means take it back and think about what you did.

Section 4 — Product handling

Please handle every product with care. Our products are completely normal. Some have features: a propeller, confetti, music, a rocket. Products are inert and do not move on their own, except when they do. There is a hoop in the corner; throwing product into it is permitted and compensated.

Section 5 — Facilities and advancement

Between shifts you may rearrange the warehouse: shelves, sorting racks, carts, bins, lighting. Walking distance is measured. The pile's footprint is not available for construction. Cartons, padding and tape are your responsibility; emergency supplies are available at emergency prices. Perform well and the company will provide bulk shipments by truck, a VIP stand, a workshop in which to produce your own, and a vending machine. Gold units occasionally appear in the pile. Report them to no one. Ship them.

Streamer Mode

For colleagues who work with an audience, one switch replaces every unit with a stand-in of identical measurements: teddy bears, zucchinis, microphones. Orders, numbers and duties are unchanged.

Keep the products' morale high.

Good luck.